Last night I said I am divine. I am. But I am also mortal, weak, one of billions of others. I make mistakes. I have 37 years of experiences and information that have gone into my brain as memory, and not all of it is beautiful, true, or good. I have habits- oh, do I have habits, some of which I am not fond of.
Just as I am a Child of God, I am also of the dust of the earth. Alone, left to my own devices and powers, I am nothing.
A woman I highly respect, after reading and counseling me on a personal vision statement that I had spent two months in writing, and rewriting, and revising, and editing, recommended one book to me. Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem. It's message is that all the hype about needing to have a boosted self-esteem and see ourselves as great, sets us up for disappointment. Just like having a mortal super hero - a ball player, or movie star - is a let down when you find out they made some serious mistakes. So it is with having ourself as a hero. We inevitably let ourselves down, because we make mistakes - that is why we are on earth - to learn. Learning is not about a perfect performance. That is the end goal, but the learning phase is about practice, and practice always involves hiccups, mistakes, slower that perfect timing, errors, stretching, growing, difficulty, opposition, a struggle. So placing our hopes, and faith and trust in ourselves is just as erroneous as placing our trust in any other arm of flesh. We will be dissappointed.
Deep down we know we are suseptible to failure. We know we are not perfect. We know we are not as completely good as the outside world sees. We always put our best self out - but there is in all of us a weaker self too. In our hearts we know that, so working too hard at building self-esteem just leaves us puffed up on air.
In the end it is God that we can glory in. He is perfect. He is all knowing, all powerful. He has perfect love, justice, and mercy. When I have good thoughts, it is inspired of God. When I do good, it is by his grace. When I do wrong, it is through His atonement that I am made clean and able to start again.
I am nothing but Jesus Christ in whom I trust, whose side I am on, is Everything.
Just as I am a Child of God, I am also of the dust of the earth. Alone, left to my own devices and powers, I am nothing.
A woman I highly respect, after reading and counseling me on a personal vision statement that I had spent two months in writing, and rewriting, and revising, and editing, recommended one book to me. Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem. It's message is that all the hype about needing to have a boosted self-esteem and see ourselves as great, sets us up for disappointment. Just like having a mortal super hero - a ball player, or movie star - is a let down when you find out they made some serious mistakes. So it is with having ourself as a hero. We inevitably let ourselves down, because we make mistakes - that is why we are on earth - to learn. Learning is not about a perfect performance. That is the end goal, but the learning phase is about practice, and practice always involves hiccups, mistakes, slower that perfect timing, errors, stretching, growing, difficulty, opposition, a struggle. So placing our hopes, and faith and trust in ourselves is just as erroneous as placing our trust in any other arm of flesh. We will be dissappointed.
Deep down we know we are suseptible to failure. We know we are not perfect. We know we are not as completely good as the outside world sees. We always put our best self out - but there is in all of us a weaker self too. In our hearts we know that, so working too hard at building self-esteem just leaves us puffed up on air.
In the end it is God that we can glory in. He is perfect. He is all knowing, all powerful. He has perfect love, justice, and mercy. When I have good thoughts, it is inspired of God. When I do good, it is by his grace. When I do wrong, it is through His atonement that I am made clean and able to start again.
I am nothing but Jesus Christ in whom I trust, whose side I am on, is Everything.
No comments:
Post a Comment