I am a mother who knows I am a child of God.

Actually, we are all children of God.  Because we are his children, we all have something Divine within us.  We all have the spiritual genetics to become infinitely good.  Sometimes, as we jouney on Earth it is hard to see the divine in ourselves or others.  We can be decieved by the weakness of the flesh, by seeing all the mistakes, all the wrongs, all the character flaws.  But if we will stop and ask God how He sees us, we will be shown something beautiful.

I am a Mother who knows which way I face.

I face everyone around me.  I am safe with the Lord at my back.  I take counsel from the Lord in how I am to interact with all around me.  I do not take counsel from those around me and then try to persuade the Lord of my own will.

Actually, the above statements are positive affirmations - what I am striving for.  Jesus Christ, in submitting his own will to that of the Father is the only one who has flawlessly lived always remembering which way he faced.

I have actually learned that I have a lot of work to do in this area.  As I first listened to this talk, I thought it was about the LDS culture vs. the world's culture, the gospel vs. the philosophies of men, Christians vs. Babylon.  As I studied it, I realized the lesson I need to gain is in my close relationships.  A close inspection of my life, has shown me that all to often I am fearing man more than God in the form of my husband, mother, sisters, children, friends.  I am trusting in my husband more than God at times too.  I have chosen the right way to face many times, too.  I don't believe in dichotomy.  But I have been shown where I can improve.

With my husband there are a million examples, the first that comes to mind is getting out of bed in the morning, especially on the weekend.  I set a goal, or have a core value of getting up by a certain time, but Jonathan wants to stay in bed and sleep or talk, so often I stay with him - trying to be unified with him, more than God.

With my children, it most often happens when I have to carry out a consequence or enforce a family rule.  I know my child is going to resist, I may deal with a fit, or rolling of eyes, or some other negative feedback, and I fear it more than teaching them what God has asked of us in responsibility and self-government.

My sisters, mother and other friends or family usually looks like going along with their plans or accepting their invitation, even when I know it is not the best choice for me or my family at the time.  This is trusting in their plans more than God's plan for me, or fearing to disappoint or damage our relationships. (That last fear is largely unfounded.)

At Crossfit, it is the Music.  Sometimes the music playing is way outside of acceptable standards - is offensive to the spirit.  I have yet to ask for it to be changed.  But a good friend recently told me she has several times.  I have feared man more than God on that one.

I know that as I follow the Lord, submit to His will, fear Him more than Man, and trust Him I will find more peace, more joy, more happiness.  That is His desire for His children.

I have two books that discuss these topics from different directions:
Confronting the Myth of Self-Esteem and Co-Dependant No More.


These thoughts are in response to the talk Which Way Do You Face? by Elder Robbins.  

I am a mother who knows that families can be together forever.

I went to the temple this morning.  There is a sweet peace that  comes as soon as you enter that holy house.  I entered it feeling low.  I was feeling frustrated and overwhelmed with so much to do, and not feeling that it was possible to accomplish, and certainly not for me to accomplish it with a smile and showing love to my children at the same time.  I didn't feel I had hope. In the Celestial Room, I had a chance to really ask for help, and receive guidance.  It came from Moroni 7:39-41:

I judge better things of you, for I judge that ye have faith in Christ because of your meekness; ...  And again, my beloved brethren, I would speak unto you concerning hope. How is it that ye can attain unto faith, save ye shall have hope? And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him..."

I felt the Lord tell me that I do have faith and hope.   With a resounding yes I could say that I have hope for life eternal.  That is the only way I will get my little Addy back.  She died at 8 months old, and therefore, through the grave of Jesus Christ's atonement, is saved and will have eternal life.  She is sealed to Jonathan and I through our Temple Marriage, so if we live faithful we will have her again.  This is always my hope.

I am a mother who know that Gratitude is a state of happiness.

When I am in a moment of actually feeling sincere gratitude I am in a positive mental and emotional state.  This is a powerful tool I have used in times of darkness.   For many years I have had ups and downs with depression.  I have learned that my soul can only feel one emotion at any given moment.  I can only have 1 thought at a time.  If I choose to think about a blessing, a specific something that I am powerfully grateful for, at that moment I am choosing a positive state of being.  It has been a small reprieve from the surrounding darkness.
If I can make a stronger effort and recognize and feel emotion for many blessings - a long list of them, then I keep myself in that positive and lighted place longer.  Always and truly the Lord does bless us, always more abundantly than we can give thanks for or ever repay in our obedience and service to Him.  For as soon as we strive to do good, in thanksgiving of our blessings, He blesses us again.

Here are a few that I am Grateful for Today!
Jesus Christ's Atonement
Jonathan
Addy - in Heaven
Kate
Cassidy
Wyatt
Mille
Janey
Temples
The Book of Mormon
Ananas Melons
Sunshine
Sweet Peppers
Mountains
Thunder Storms
Mom
Dad
Mom Satterthwaite
Dad Satterthwaite
Friends
Relief Society
Trials that teach me
Hot Baths
Cold Water
Oranges
On Gaurd
That I can do a HSPU
Gardens
Flowers
Trees
Soil
Worms
Spiders
Lady Bugs
Sunsets
Long Walks
Long Talks
Pumpkin Pie
My Sisters - 2 of them
Massages from Jonathan - getting one right now  :)
Flush Toilets
Refrigerators
Gas Stoves
Washing Machine
My Brothers - 7 of them
Brothers and Sisters in Law who are all wonderful
Nieces and Nephews
Babies
Homeschooling
Pilgrims
Pioneers
The Constitution
The Declaration of Independence
Liberty
TJEd
Jodie
C.S. Lewis - all his books
The Arbinger Institute
Life Changing Services
George McDonald
Laddie
Little Britches
The Bible
Journals
Coconut Oil
G2 Pilot Pens - they write smooth
Cars
Prayer
Answers to Prayer
The Holy Ghost
The Sacrament
Christmas Carols
Cinnamon
Cloves
Nutmeg

I am a mother who knows the story of the Pilgrims.

In honor of Thanksgiving, our family watched Monumental this evening.  It tells the story of the Pilgrims journey from Scrooby, England, where they risked their lives and worshiped in secret, to Holland, and eventually Plymouth. 

In England it was treason to believe or worship in any way other than how the king dictated.  The Pilgrims wanted to worship according to the dictates of their own conscience. They were betrayed, imprisoned, families torn apart, and suffered much more.  When they finally made it to Plymouth, the first winter 47 of their 102 persons died. Many of the women died from cold, as they slept over their children to keep them alive.  Most of the children survived.  In early spring, the Captain, who had brought them, was returning to England, and plead with them to come also.  Their hope of survival looked so bleak.  But not one of them went back.  Why?

Because they knew they needed liberty to worship God.  They understood that their children and children's children could not grow in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, thereby finding happiness in this life and the life hereafter without a political climate that allowed them to worship.

In our day, freedom to worship is again being taken away, slowly and more subtly than it was in England in 1600.  The Judeo-Christian heritage of America's founding is being replaced with a religion of godlessness, immorality, and every man to himself.  Peace and prosperity cannot persist long on these grounds.  The civilization will inevitably implode on itself.  

It was sweet to hear my children's comments and see their emotion as we discussed the sacrifice that was made in our behalf.  I am thankful for the Pilgrims.  I know they were brought here by God.  The legacy of liberty - especially religious liberty - that they sacrificed, even their lives for, must be defended boldly.  I choose to defend and teach morality, virtue, and Christian values, in hopes that my children and grandchildren and great grandchildren, may worship according to the dictates of their own conscience, and enjoy the blessings of liberty.

If you want to read a fabulous book that tells the real story of Thanksgiving try Stories of the Pilgrims, by Margaret Pumphrey.  It is an excellent whole family read-aloud. Be prepared to laugh and cry and meet real people.

I am a Mother who knows how to do Crossfit.

So this is a bit of a topic change-up.  The reason I started Crossfit, was because I was told by a doctor it was anti-depressants or exercising hard for the rest of my life. (He said I could quit at 97.) I had to work up a sweat, keep my heart rate elevated for 20 minutes and never have less than 3 days a week, preferably 4 or 5.  I took it to heart.  I have done anti-depressants in the past and know that I don't like the side effects and the numbing of my feelings.

I have never really enjoyed sports in the past, not thought I was at all competitive, or coordinated for that matter.  But Crossfit has shown me a whole new side of myself.  We go to a small, family oriented box called Ben Lomond Crossfit.  I have been going for two years this month.  I kept going all through my pregnancy with my sixth child, scaling tremendously of course, and getting back at it within 3 weeks postpartum.  Fear of Depression is very real, and very motivating for me.
I have found that I am built well for Crossfit movement, I am strong, and I have some reasonable mental stamina.  I had my last baby natural, using hypno-birthing (more on that another time), and found that mental focus and courage are worth developing as they play across all aspects of life.

I have learned that exercise is a very healthy way for me to take out stress, anger, or any other myriad of emotions and that in so doing I have often gotten very good scores.  Because of our small box size, I can occasionally take first in the box.  Recently I had a WOD where I even beat my husband and the trainer - taking the whole box.  That was elating!  Not something that could easily be repeated, all the stars had to be lined up for it.

I have to say that Jonathan has been incredibly helpful and important as a personal trainer, masseuse, and cheerleader in helping me get where I am.  I am finding enough fun with Crossfit that I hope to continue it life long.  Maybe someday competing at a regional or team competition.  Who knows.

My skills I have developed:  After 6 grueling and frustrating months of practicing I am now reasonably proficient at double-unders 48 unbroken is my current PR.  My Crossfit Total is 495#.  I can back squat 185.  I did 8 rope climbs yesterday, I used a 30" inch box for boxjumps last week in a WOD.  I can now do hand-stand push ups and pistols - one at a time.  My record for pull-ups is 21 unbroken. - I did 12 unbroken at 7 months pregnant.  I am currently working on learning to do a muscle-up.

I know that our physical bodies are a gift from a loving Heavenly Father.  He is pleased as we take good care of them.  He has blessed me with health and strength of body, for which I am grateful.

I Am a Mother Who Knows Good From Evil. And I choose the Good.

I have felt blessed to live a sheltered and somewhat naive life.  I have enjoyed being a stay at home mom.  I have chosen to not have television, or video games (except for a couple years of Wii, which we have since gotten rid of)  in our home.  We carefully choose movies, music and books for that which will edify and make us better people, rather than just entertain.  I only read, listen to or watch news in very small and occasional doses, trying to focus on political happenings and major events, and skipping all the small, grimy stories of people's lives.
But recently I have learned more and more of the reality and pervasiveness of evil.  Satan is waging a fierce war against all who strive for goodness.  He is so subtle.  He has 7000 years of experience in deceiving. He is deadly serious in his aspiration to make all men miserable like unto himself.  He has no moral boundaries, he will stop at nothing.  He knows who the Lord's valiant disciples are and he is targeting them.  Oh, how I ache for the spiritually and emotionally wounded and fallen soldiers in this battle.  So many are taken captive unawares.  They have brain patterns of anger, depression, anxiety, addiction, or so many other negative thoughts and behaviors, well established, deeply embeded, before they even realize that they have a problem at all. He has silently drugged this generation, without thier knowing it. It is only with great effort and great faith that such chains are broken, and the wounds healed.  But I am learning and seeing that God wants to and can heal all broken souls, if we come to him with full purpose, and complete humility.
I know that this life is short in God's time.  Everything is "soon" to Aslan.  Our trauma and trials that seem an eternity will pass.  I know that it matters not what experiences come to us in life, so long as we hold on tight to God's word, and are willing to submit to all things.  He will make all things work together for good, if we love Him.  I know that as we get nearer to the Second Coming of Jesus Christ the evil will get stronger, but so will the manifestions of God's power and miracles among the righteous.  I choose to be on the Lord's side.

I am teaching my children the Warrior Hymns:
Who's On the Lord's Side Who?
True to the Faith
Battle Hymn of the Republic
Onward Christian Soldiers
Up, Awake, Ye Defenders of Zion
We Are All Enlisted
Behold! A Royal Army

Poem my daughter wrote

A Mother Who Knows

A mother who knows is a virtuous woman.
A woman with faith to uphold.

She teaches her children to love and obey.
She teaches them truth by showing the way.

She'll show them the way to return to our Father above.
She'll be a light to the world.

She'll Pray every day.
A Mother who knows can lighten this day.

I am a Mother Who Knows that God Talks To Me Personally

Three years ago, as I worked with a mentor, I was assigned to do a Mission Quest.  I spent many hours in pondering, reading and writing trying to figure out my own personal mission statement. Finally my mentor asked me to go find a block of time where I could go to a secluded spot by myself and ask God for inspiration.  I did this and the answer came to me more clearly than any revelation I have ever recieved.  My Mission Statement since that date has been:

To Understand,
To Bless,
And To Prepare for the work God has for me to do.

I was given to understand that I was to prepare by getting my life in better order, and gaining more understanding and governance of myself.  I have fought depression off and on for many years and it's debilitating effects has dissallowed me to make significant progress in any project over a long period of time.  Learning to manange and overcome depression was a significant part of my preparation.

Last night, as I sat in Stake Conference, recieving counsel from our local church leaders, the Lord spoke to me personally again, in a very clear way.  He told me I am ready!   It is time for me to serve him in a consistant and outward way.  The first assignment I have is to start this blog, and add my voice to the millions of other voices in the world.  My voice is to support, defend, and encourage noble motherhood.  I feel blessed to be given this charge by a loving Heavenly Father.  I am a Mother who knows that God talks to me personally, and I am choosing to follow Him.  I know that he will talk to anyone who lacks wisdom (James 1:5), will ask, and receive.