Wednesdays are our crazy evenings. Jonathan has a class so he leaves in the morning and doesn't come home until 9:30. I have a class that starts at 7pm, and before that we have piano, violin, and Crossfit. Slip dinner and bedtime routines into the mix also. It is a stressful night. After dinner tonight we were all cleaning up, when my bouncy boy Wyatt, knocked a plate of pomegranate seeds and skins out of his sisters hand and we had red jewels flying all over the floor.
I yelled at him. :(
It was the first time I have yelled in a few weeks. I immediately felt awful - making it tempting to justify myself with more rudeness, but gratefully I stopped, took a deep breath and said I was sorry for yelling. I admitted I was in the wrong, and calmly asked him to clean it up.
Yelling is not part of the powerful, purposeful, nurturing mother I am. That is not part of our family culture. We are at war to eradicate contention and rudeness from our home. When it is there it is Satan's doing.
In my class, they asked the questions "When did you last lose a battle, and how did Satan attack you?" "How will he try to attack you next time?" "What can you do to prepare so that you won't lose that next battle?" I had the epiphany that Satan attacks me with unexpected little hiccups at busy or stressful times. The dirty diaper that has to be changed when you are already late for an appointment. The important paper I needed that my 5 year old sharpened her cutting skills on. The muddy boots all through the house right as company is arriving. These are little things - no one's eternal salvation is at stake. No one has really been injured or committed a crime they cannot learn from and correct - if Mom's stays calm enough to teach them and allow them to learn.
But throw in a little extra stress and I Mom often loses her cool. Not any more! Now I can see it coming. It is Murphy's law that if something can go wrong it will. This is mortality, it is about becoming better, stronger, smarter, kinder. When I can see that Satan wants me to snap and yell and throw my own immature fit, especially if I can hurt a child's feelings, or put them on the defensive so they don't learn from their mistakes, then I do get angry! I get angry at Satan, and I am not going to let him into my home through my actions! I will now expect that if I am busy or stressed, there will be little problems, unplanned added challenges, and I will face them with calm. I will communicate to my children with love. Because that is my core value. That is who I am: a powerful, purposeful, nurturing mother.
I yelled at him. :(
It was the first time I have yelled in a few weeks. I immediately felt awful - making it tempting to justify myself with more rudeness, but gratefully I stopped, took a deep breath and said I was sorry for yelling. I admitted I was in the wrong, and calmly asked him to clean it up.
Yelling is not part of the powerful, purposeful, nurturing mother I am. That is not part of our family culture. We are at war to eradicate contention and rudeness from our home. When it is there it is Satan's doing.
In my class, they asked the questions "When did you last lose a battle, and how did Satan attack you?" "How will he try to attack you next time?" "What can you do to prepare so that you won't lose that next battle?" I had the epiphany that Satan attacks me with unexpected little hiccups at busy or stressful times. The dirty diaper that has to be changed when you are already late for an appointment. The important paper I needed that my 5 year old sharpened her cutting skills on. The muddy boots all through the house right as company is arriving. These are little things - no one's eternal salvation is at stake. No one has really been injured or committed a crime they cannot learn from and correct - if Mom's stays calm enough to teach them and allow them to learn.
But throw in a little extra stress and I Mom often loses her cool. Not any more! Now I can see it coming. It is Murphy's law that if something can go wrong it will. This is mortality, it is about becoming better, stronger, smarter, kinder. When I can see that Satan wants me to snap and yell and throw my own immature fit, especially if I can hurt a child's feelings, or put them on the defensive so they don't learn from their mistakes, then I do get angry! I get angry at Satan, and I am not going to let him into my home through my actions! I will now expect that if I am busy or stressed, there will be little problems, unplanned added challenges, and I will face them with calm. I will communicate to my children with love. Because that is my core value. That is who I am: a powerful, purposeful, nurturing mother.
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