Thoughts on Childbirth

Hi Emily!

I hope you are doing well. I sure love reading your blog. Your words make me feel like I'm not alone in wondering all my mothering thoughts.  You have always been such a great example to me, and you are one of the best moms I know.

Sometime around Labor Day I'll be going into labor again and I vaguely remember you mentioning on Rachelle's Facebook page that you thought fondly of your hypnobirthing experience. I'm curious why that was your favorite and if you went to a class for that or perhaps read a book. Also, was that a natural childbirth? My first two deliveries were great, but I'm wanting to try things the way my body was meant to do them.... maybe :)

Anyway, I thought I would start asking moms I love and look up to about this and I'm interested in anything you have to offer on the subject.

Take care!
Briana

Sweet Briana,

I am excited to hear from you!  Hooray on this new addition coming.  

Yes, hypno-birthing is a natural birth preparation method.  Here is my story - 

My first two children I had epidurals, no problems.  My third, I was planning on an epidural, but she came too fast.  I was blessed with a fabulous nurse from Europe, who worked wonderfully as a coach and helped me through.  Since then, I have gone natural.  Faster recovery, more intense experience.  The gospel teaches us that there must needs be opposition in all things, and in order to appreciate the sweet things, we must experience the hard things.  I have found that level of my joy is intensified, and my faith and sense of partnering with God is increased when I walk that hard road.  Also, Jonathan became an integral part of the birthing process - not just an onlooker.    I gain a new sense of my own strength and weakness through the journey of natural childbirth.  That being said, everyone has different needs at different times in their lives and I believe that modern anesthetics can be truly a blessing from that Lord at times too.  God will guide anyone who seeks his counsel in this decision.

My first planned natural birth was hard, fast, and I don't remember the details too much.

My second I prepared with a book called The Bradley Method; Husband Coached Childbirth.  I loved his philosophy of conception is between  husband and wife and delivery should be also.  I add that God is also part of both experiecnes.  He used breathing patterns and talked about observing how animals birth calmly.  It worked okay - but was still very difficult.  I would not describe it as a beautiful or peaceful experience, but it was natural and I have no regrets.  (Jonathan will tell you that I always get to that really hard part and think I am going to die - and proclaim it )  I had a Nurse Midwife and delivered at the hospital - she was all for epidurals, but willing to support my wishes.

For my last child, I really wanted a home birth, but for reasons of cost, and that Janey had a medical problem we ended up delivering at UofU with a special needs OB.  Heather, Adam's wife, and one of my other cousins, both loved their hypno-birthing experiences.  I was a little skeptical because I have always felt that the hypnosis used for entertainment was giving up agency or lowering inhibitions in an inappropriate way.  But I decided to read the book and see if it felt right.  It did.  

Hypnosis in childbirth is self-hypnosis, and it is actually just training yourself to get in a very relaxed, yet focused meditative state.  It is all about learning to control and focus your mind and your body.  I loved that it was actually about intense self-control, rather than about giving up your self-control to another person.  I just used the book, and read about self-hypnosis and meditation and relaxation from other sources.  And lots and lots of practicing.  I loved writing out my birth script, and had Jonathan practice it with me several times.  It was not a read from start to finish, but different chunks as I needed them.   I will send you my birth script so you can see it.  I have heard that people love the classes, and many people say getting an excellent doula is super helpful for natural childbirth.  I can say yes to that from my first natural birth experience where the nurse stepped in and helped me immensely.  However, I think it is ideal for my husband to play that crucial role, and it did bring us closer together.

The day of Janey's birth, I was induced because we were driving  to SLC.  I was worried about pitocin causing more pain than I could handle, and so we started with just breaking my water.  It didn't work, so three hours later, they started pitocin.  When labor really started I had Jonathan work through the birth script with me.  I would tell him when I needed something different - but often he could tell on his own.  He said it was physically and mentally challenging for him also - both my mom and Jonathan's momwere there, and my daughter Cassidy - the first birth since our first that we had anyone else.  There were also a whole slew of doctors and nurses and interns coming in and out - because Janey was a rare case and they expected her to have severe complications at birth.  But once the contractions were regular and strong, I became very focused and don't remember much of who was around other than Jonathan.  It was hard, but peaceful and spiritual as I prepared for.  It became very much a prayer for strength and focus, and careful, concentrated focus on relaxing what I could and letting my uterus be all that was contracting.  I remember moving from sitting to on my hands and knees, and be amazed at how intense things were.  But according to all the onlookers everything was very calm and peaceful. So it caught them somewhat by surprise when one of the interns noticed Janey was crowning and after a few pushes she was born.   

My prayer throughout the pregnancy was that I would be able to hold her after birth, that she would be stable enough for that. I wanted the miracle of a healthy baby, but didn't dare get my hopes up for it, I just really wanted to hold her soon after she was born.  She has an enlarged brain ventricle that looked likely to be affecting her executive functions - heart and lungs.  So they told me should would be whisked through a little window to NICU and if all was well I would get to hold her after her initial exam, but if there were problems she would be transferred as soon as she was stable to Primary Children's NICU.  

She was born pink and breathing! After 5 minutes of NICU exam she was given back to me and never left my side again.  She still has an enlarged brain ventricle but the only noticable effects so far have been that her left leg lagged behind a few weeks in picking up the movement for crawling.

For me, the visualization and practicing faith in the process of preparation for birth became a growing experience.  It was a means of exercising my faith, which in turn strengthened my faith, and then prepared me for the beautiful miracle God had in store.  I think the hypnobirthing method teaches and supports the skills of exercising faith, as well as developing self-mastery of mind and body.  It doesn't directly create a spiritual experience, but you can make it so.  It does give a beautiful, healthy view of motherhood and the birthing process and tools to make it happen.

I hope that helps some.  Please ask more questions if you have them.

Love, Emily