For Christmas, I asked for the gift of Charity. Since the realization that I needed that gift, I have been praying daily to receive it, and have carefully studied Moroni 7. After several weeks of bumpy roads, I had nearly two weeks of peace and joy. The fruits of Charity seemed a peaceful part of living. Life was moving cheerfully forward for our family.
Then, on Sunday night I was triggered. A phrase that I came upon in my reading, that provoked a torrent of negative emotions. I struggled all through Monday and Tuesday, trying to finish Christmas preparations and wanting to have a happy spirit in our home for my children. But I failed. I was edgy, losing my temper occasionally, draining all the joy out living in our house. How is it that mother can be the naughtiest one in a family? I knew I was in the wrong. I was searching for how to rid myself of the negative spirit. I tried prayer and scriptures study and writing and sleeping. Finally, Tuesday evening, with sincere pleading I asked the Lord to give me Charity - it is what I needed to let go of the trigger from Sunday night. I needed to stop dwelling on the past, forgive, love, acknowledge the good in my life now. Almost immediately, a calm sweetness came over me. I felt the power of Charity. It washed over me, pushing out all the negative and dark thoughts and feelings. My good, forgiving family then embraced having their mother back and we enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Spirit in our home for the next few days.
Because I asked, the Lord blessed me with the gift of charity for a time, when I especially needed it. I know I will need to continue to work on it, foster it and practice it, in order to really own it continually in my life.
I feel that God let me struggle, so I could feel a need, and have to practice the hard work of striving for Charity. If life had kept on smoothly, I would not have realized how powerful a gift Charity is, nor would I have recognized His giving me that gift this Christmas.
Then, on Sunday night I was triggered. A phrase that I came upon in my reading, that provoked a torrent of negative emotions. I struggled all through Monday and Tuesday, trying to finish Christmas preparations and wanting to have a happy spirit in our home for my children. But I failed. I was edgy, losing my temper occasionally, draining all the joy out living in our house. How is it that mother can be the naughtiest one in a family? I knew I was in the wrong. I was searching for how to rid myself of the negative spirit. I tried prayer and scriptures study and writing and sleeping. Finally, Tuesday evening, with sincere pleading I asked the Lord to give me Charity - it is what I needed to let go of the trigger from Sunday night. I needed to stop dwelling on the past, forgive, love, acknowledge the good in my life now. Almost immediately, a calm sweetness came over me. I felt the power of Charity. It washed over me, pushing out all the negative and dark thoughts and feelings. My good, forgiving family then embraced having their mother back and we enjoyed a beautiful Christmas Spirit in our home for the next few days.
Because I asked, the Lord blessed me with the gift of charity for a time, when I especially needed it. I know I will need to continue to work on it, foster it and practice it, in order to really own it continually in my life.
I feel that God let me struggle, so I could feel a need, and have to practice the hard work of striving for Charity. If life had kept on smoothly, I would not have realized how powerful a gift Charity is, nor would I have recognized His giving me that gift this Christmas.
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