How I am Changing the World

I had a fun conversation today with a friend who is mulling over education choices for her children. Her oldest will be in kindergarten in the fall.  She is a brilliant woman, a careful mother and doing her homework.  She has looked at the local public elementary, has researched the charter schools around, and is wanting to explore the options in the homeschool world.  I was impressed with her careful look at all the options.

She is also searching for more fulfillment in her life.  She treasures motherhood, and has a one day a week profession that gives her adult interaction, however she is very honest with herself about the struggles of boredom, loneliness and monotony that can be the bane of homemaking.  Nevertheless, she is courageously considering the possibility of quitting the job to be home full time even as she worries that she will be miserable without something to stimulate her mind.

I say hooray for wanting to be a full time mother!  That is a mother-heart calling for its divine potential.

And yes, bored, overwhelmed, and stagnated with dishes, diapers, and laundry is a very real and common situation with moms.

So how do mothers find joy in the day to day difficulties of runny noses, 2 year old tantrums, and coaxing 7 year olds to eat their broccoli or feed the dog, or practice their spelling list?  How do mothers not lose themselves completely in the piles of laundry - to wake up one day not knowing who they are or why they are trying to match stray socks?

First, my grandmother taught me to darn socks by saying "That darn sock has a hole." and then throw it in the trash.  I apply this amply to stray socks as well.

As to finding joy in the mundane, and retaining a sense of self the key is knowing why.  Why is what drives the choice, the action.  Being consciously aware of why you do something puts your emotion into it, aligns it with your core values.  Answering "Why?"  gives you your purpose.

Why do mothers change diapers, fix meals, wash dishes, wash and fold laundry, chauffeur children, read stories over and over, wipe noses, help with tedious homework, assign chores they could do faster, easier and better themselves, give consequences, clean bloody knees, and put band-aids on invisible owies?  It is because they know they are changing the world as they do it.  If they do a good job, they make the world better, they are shaping a life, bringing it closer to God and to joy, or further from it.  According to their choices that child will be blessed or experience misery.  No other position on earth has even close to as much influence on the lives of other human beings.

Motherhood is a position of power.  God gave it to women because of our natures.  We are not as easily power-hungry, or harsh.  It is a power that if wielded with wisdom, gentleness, nurturing, respect for agency, integrity and love, will produce great joy for the mother and her offspring. - Not to say that there won't be pain, challenges and mistakes by both mother and child - this is mortality, a practice ground.  But the Why remains strong.  Mothers do what they do because it is the noblest, most challenging, most rewarding thing they could do in a lifetime.  It is the work of God - to raise children.

But, you say, that Why is so hard to remember when you are up in the middle of the night mopping up vomit, or breaking up the umpteenth quarrel in a day.

The answer to that is we must keep learning and growing ourselves.  If we stagnate in our personal growth, our children will stagnate also.  If we are anxiously engaged in our own life long pursuit of knowledge, truth, and excellence so will our children be.

For me this growth has come from many different avenues.  I was impressed early in my motherhood by an article called "An Education without a Classroom" in which a young mother, surrounded by college students chose to keep learning via books from the local library and her kitchen table.  This inspired me to keep learning without excuse according to the situation I am in.   I have loved book groups, or Colloquia where everyone comes ready to discuss and learn a book that has changed them.  I use park days so kids can play and moms can talk or do a project together, teaching classes myself so that I have to study and prepare, personal mentoring, and occasionally a formal class or lessons.  Conferences are inspiring.  Always I have to plan in time weekly where I can visit with other women and learn from them and share what I am learning and thereby be strengthened.

The conclusion to all this is that this summer for my growth and hopefully that of a few other moms I am planning to have a weekly Mom's study group (held at a park so kids can play).  I have 3 different directions I am thinking of going, based on my current passions and learning and I'm looking for other interested moms.
A.  Creating a Master Inspire Plan for your family.  Reading, discussing and creating what you want for your family.
B.  Personal Discipline to gain control of your own thoughts and actions  - Eternal Warriors
C.  Permaculture:  A design system for gardening, self-reliance, and wholistic living.

If you live in the Weber/Davis area and are interested in learning with me on one of these this summer send me an email, text or FB message with what topic you like and I will keep you posted as plans develop.

Your fellow learner,
Emily