Today I found joy in a very unlikely verse of scripture:
"And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils." Luke 8:2
Mary Magdalene is one of the heroines of scripture. She was a close friend to Jesus, and was praised by him for choosing "that good part." She is the first to whom the resurrected Lord appeared. Yet she too, had her season of darkness and was in need of the Saviors powerful healing and redeeming grace. This good woman had been possessed of devils.
I used to think that the accounts in the New Testament of people having evil spirits which needed casting out were strange, something that did not happen in our day. I now realize that we are very much and very often in need of being freed from the evil spirits that would destroy our happiness and are constantly barraging us.
Several years ago during a dark bout of depression, I became clearly aware that Satan and his minions were attacking me when I was down. I was being told lies by him, and felt bound down by his darkness. I asked for a priesthood blessing to free me from Satan's grasp. And was blessed with a season of reprieve from the darkness. I was still hesitant to admit that an evil spirit could be in me. It was too dark a subject to face.
On occasion in discussions, I would correlate my depression to a loss of the good Spirit, and as being a sin. I could not explain how I got to that miserable state - or did not want to admit that I had become possessed of an evil spirit, because that seemed to reflect on me as being evil-, but I knew that when I was down, my behavior was bad, my thoughts were bad, I was not behaving right. I was sinning. It is wrong to yell at and belittle a child. It is wrong to scream at your husband. It is false to believe that life is hopeless, miserable, and there is no joy in it. When I am depressed, I cannot see light, and I do not act on my core values. My husband, mom or sister would tell me good things and my mind (actually it was an evil spirit in my mind) would counter with excuses and reasoning that negated every good thing they could come up with. In short, I was possessed of an evil spirit.
Part of the power Satan held over me was my refusing to acknowledge it as it was. If I deny there is an evil spirit talking to me then I will not take action to kick him out of my mind and my home. It is a version of “And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance.” (2 Ne. 28:20–22.)
Once I acknowledge that Satan does whisper to me, and lie to me, and is constantly putting his best effort out to keep me down, then I have exposed him. I am shedding light on the problem and the problem becomes fixable.
I have learned that all negative, hurtful, frustrating and confusing thoughts can be safely attributed to Satan and his devils. I call him on it, tell him I won't believe him, and I choose not to agree with the thought. Then Satan and his lies cannot possess me.
Although the deep depression, constant dark thoughts and feeling of being possessed of a devil has not tormented me for several months now, I know Satan has not given up. He still puts his miserable ideas in front of me daily, but I am learning to see them for what they are, and they do not take hold of me. I am enabled to do this by the power of the Holy Ghost and through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Constant prayer for this help conquers Satan.
Like Mary Magdaline I have had devils gone out of me.
"And certain women, which had been healed of evil spirits and infirmities, Mary Magdalene, out of whom went seven devils." Luke 8:2
Mary Magdalene is one of the heroines of scripture. She was a close friend to Jesus, and was praised by him for choosing "that good part." She is the first to whom the resurrected Lord appeared. Yet she too, had her season of darkness and was in need of the Saviors powerful healing and redeeming grace. This good woman had been possessed of devils.
I used to think that the accounts in the New Testament of people having evil spirits which needed casting out were strange, something that did not happen in our day. I now realize that we are very much and very often in need of being freed from the evil spirits that would destroy our happiness and are constantly barraging us.
Several years ago during a dark bout of depression, I became clearly aware that Satan and his minions were attacking me when I was down. I was being told lies by him, and felt bound down by his darkness. I asked for a priesthood blessing to free me from Satan's grasp. And was blessed with a season of reprieve from the darkness. I was still hesitant to admit that an evil spirit could be in me. It was too dark a subject to face.
On occasion in discussions, I would correlate my depression to a loss of the good Spirit, and as being a sin. I could not explain how I got to that miserable state - or did not want to admit that I had become possessed of an evil spirit, because that seemed to reflect on me as being evil-, but I knew that when I was down, my behavior was bad, my thoughts were bad, I was not behaving right. I was sinning. It is wrong to yell at and belittle a child. It is wrong to scream at your husband. It is false to believe that life is hopeless, miserable, and there is no joy in it. When I am depressed, I cannot see light, and I do not act on my core values. My husband, mom or sister would tell me good things and my mind (actually it was an evil spirit in my mind) would counter with excuses and reasoning that negated every good thing they could come up with. In short, I was possessed of an evil spirit.
Part of the power Satan held over me was my refusing to acknowledge it as it was. If I deny there is an evil spirit talking to me then I will not take action to kick him out of my mind and my home. It is a version of “And behold, others he flattereth away, and telleth them there is no hell; and he saith unto them: I am no devil, for there is none—and thus he whispereth in their ears, until he grasps them with his awful chains, from whence there is no deliverance.” (2 Ne. 28:20–22.)
Once I acknowledge that Satan does whisper to me, and lie to me, and is constantly putting his best effort out to keep me down, then I have exposed him. I am shedding light on the problem and the problem becomes fixable.
I have learned that all negative, hurtful, frustrating and confusing thoughts can be safely attributed to Satan and his devils. I call him on it, tell him I won't believe him, and I choose not to agree with the thought. Then Satan and his lies cannot possess me.
Although the deep depression, constant dark thoughts and feeling of being possessed of a devil has not tormented me for several months now, I know Satan has not given up. He still puts his miserable ideas in front of me daily, but I am learning to see them for what they are, and they do not take hold of me. I am enabled to do this by the power of the Holy Ghost and through the atonement of Jesus Christ. Constant prayer for this help conquers Satan.
Like Mary Magdaline I have had devils gone out of me.
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