Liber, part 1

[Li-ber] 1. free  2.  bark, a book  3. to engage in contract  4. education for a free people

I have loved this word for many years.  I first learned it in a thirsty quest to understand the freedom of a nation. Our nation: America.  I became painfully aware that many of our freedoms were being lost through misuse of government power.  I grieved at this awakening.  I became passionate about learning and understanding what government was supposed to be, and what it had become.  I wanted to know what I could do to make a difference for good, to try and change the tide.  The answer led me to this word: liber.

 I have since learned that liber, the root of liberty and library, has application to every area of my life. My personal self governance; my health, both physical and mental; relationships; parenting; education; finances; the war with Satan; food, clothing, shelter.  Each area of freedom won, has been a journey of learning.

I have found a pattern in the journey to liber.  It is 1. pain, 2. a realization of one's bondage, 3. a quest for knowledge, 4. working to grasp, gain and eventually master the skills learned about, 5. then engaging with world in the paradigm of your new-found freedom.

My bondage to a chaotic, over-paced world led me to want self-governance.  I found myself spread too thin between motherhood, homemaking, social and educational activities.  Life was somewhat without purpose, just reactionary.  Someone would present me with an idea, I would get excited about it.  I would start down the road with conviction and find myself knee-deep in it, too tired to go on, and not sure it was worth it, so I would only half-heartedly contintue, until all the drive had petered out and I quit...only to feel guilty about the long train of unfinished projects and goals I had trailing behind me.  I had not the discipline to accomplish.  I had not the clarity of vision to choose the right path for me.

I kept reading about successful people.  People who made a difference in the world around them - whether famous or not, they lived according to their convictions.  They found joy in living because they knew they were right before God, and they were accomplishing their mission on earth.  I wanted a mission, something to be passionate about, but deep down I knew that I did not have the discipline or skills to do much.  I wanted them, so I took a leap of faith and courage - one of the most humbling and frightening steps in my life, and it started me on a new path.  A path to self-governance, where I can choose the way I spend my time, and know that I am right before God, and that He does have a work for me to do on this earth - something I am passionate about!

That step was finding a mentor.

I am a mother who knows her child is a blessing.

Yesterday was Cassidy's 11th Birthday.  We celebrated it today, due to family schedules.  She is a great blessing to me.  Cassidy has a strong inner drive, and has chosen on her own to use it for good. She is a girl who sets an early alarm because she wants to wake up.  Get's up and does her morning routine and chores, rarely needing to be asked.  She then helps me with her younger sisters, or breakfast, or jumps into her school work.  She doesn't complain when I ask for her help, just obeys.
We recently have had discussions on the importance of her asking for and communicating her needs and desires, because I fear her giving nature would cause her to not take care of herself, and in the end leave her less able to help others.  The smart girl, seems to have understood it.  She proactively wrote me a list of her desired meals for her birthday, before I asked her.  She also asked if she could have a day of no chores today instead of yesterday.  She used the time to engage in art, cooking, Google sketchup, music, and invited her siblings along as they were interested.  (Helping Mille paint is a labor of love.) I am grateful that she has been able to communicate and acknowledge her needs and desires.

She is my child that has taken up the slack for the times when I am depressed over the last few years. She is fully capable of cooking a meal - eggs, fish, chicken, soup, steamed veges, salads, casseroles - anything with a recipe.  She has dried batches of produce on her own, and helped me with canning. She has used every appliance and tool in our kitchen.  She has made bread, pies, cakes from scratch, and even played at her own recipes occasionally.  She can lead school, do babysitting - truly nurturing and engaging with her siblings, change a diaper, prepare a bottle, bathe children, put a baby to sleep, clean a house, or do laundry - not all at once, but who can?  I often refer to her as my secretary, as she will take care of paperwork, or online purchases for me.  When I am driving or have my hands full, she will send text messages or emails for me.

On her own, she loves to read - classics usually.  She loves writing - lately it has been poetry, drawing and painting, learning about plants and herbs, exploring and building outside, she has taken up violin this year and practices without my asking, and is progressing very well.  She can sew, and I think knows more proper methods and techniques than I do now, thanks to some amazing mentors in her Little Women's group.  I will forever be grateful to Michelle Mullis and Heather Poll for their influence on Cassidy and I.  She spends time designing on Google Sketch-up, or using photo editors, or searching for names on Family Search.  She has completed more than the required number of goals in Faith in God, and should have another year.  She has begun to love dressing up and getting pretty.

She knows she wants to learn a healing art.  It used to be doctor, then midwife, now she is not sure exactly what, but she stills desires to learn about and become better at healing.  She certainly has a gift of compassion and blessing others.

I could go on and on about what I learn from and admire in this child.  I love her, I am blessed to be her mother.  As she is showing so many signs of being ready for scholar phase, I am sad to lose my little girl, and in a selfish way, know I will certainly miss all of her help, but my heart sings, to see her growth and feel the peace that she is so well prepared.  She has a solid love of learning, understanding of right and wrong, good and bad, true and false, is humble enough to be very teachable.  I pray God will show her and us the right mentors and paths, that she can be prepared to be an instrument in his hands, to bring her own children, and others around her unto Christ.